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Richard Reeve

1 Year Ago

Make Me Laugh

Seems like we haven't had any joke related discussions for a while.

I saw the post by Ronald Walker titled "Past, Present, Future" and it reminded me of the following simple joke:

- The past, present and future walked into a bar
- It was tense



Please feel free to add more groaners!

[Photo by Dan Cook on Unsplash]

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Cosmo (sung by Donald O'Connor):

Though the world is so full of a number things,
I know we should all be as happy as
But are we?
No, definitely no, positively no.
Decidedly no. Mm mm.
Short people have long faces and
Long people have short faces.
Big people have little humor
And little people have no humor at all!
And in the words of that immortal buddy
Samuel J. Snodgrass, as he was about to be lead
To the guillotine:
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
(Ha ha!)
My dad said "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines"
Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite
And you can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em...
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
My grandpa said go out and tell 'em a joke
But give it plenty of hoke
Make 'em roar
Make 'em scream
Take a fall
Run a wall
Split a seam
You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle till they're
Giggling all over the place
And then you get a great big custard pie in the face
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know... all the... wants...
My dad...
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!

"Make 'Em Laugh" ~ Singin' in the Rain (1952)
https://youtu.be/SND3v0i9uhE

 

Bill Tomsa

1 Year Ago


Actually a quote from baseball great, Yogi Berra, I believe, :

“When you come to a fork in the road….take it.”

 

David Dehner

1 Year Ago

Rodney Dangerfield – I get no respect:

I was 8 years old – on my first airline flight with my parents.

We were traveling over the ocean.

My mother put my hat on and said “Go outside and play”

 

Ed Meredith

1 Year Ago

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines.

 

Becky Titus

1 Year Ago

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

 

Jason Fink

1 Year Ago

Ripping this off from an Instagram Reel.

My wife asked me, "Have you seen the dog bowl?"
I told her, "No, I never knew he could."

 

Jim Whalen

1 Year Ago

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

 

Pamela Cooper

1 Year Ago

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens...

 

Milija Jakic

1 Year Ago

I bought art on fine art america :)

 

Ken Krug

1 Year Ago

Bread to the dough;

Don’t mind the baker. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

 

Becky Titus

1 Year Ago

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope

 

Jim Whalen

1 Year Ago

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

 

David Manlove

1 Year Ago

Dog owner: "The neighbors tell me you've been chasing people on bicycles!"

Dog: "They're lying, I don't even have a bicycle!"

 

Bill Swartwout

1 Year Ago

Maybe an image can make you laugh - as this horse was laughing at me for taking his picture. :)

assateague-pony-raspberries-bill-swartwout.jpg

 

Pamela Cooper

1 Year Ago

Spelling is hard... a couple of letters get messed up and your whole sentence is urined....

 

Ed Meredith

1 Year Ago

I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.

 

Angela Whitehouse

1 Year Ago

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day , but I couldn't find any.

 

Tony Murray

1 Year Ago

I got a booster shot recently because the doctor told me my laugh was contagious.

 

Hee Haw!

 

Why do doctors whack newborns on the bottom?

To knock the weenies off the smart ones! 0:)

 

Richard Reeve

1 Year Ago

Firstly, thank you all for making me smile this evening!

I must admit I do also like the occasional geek joke. Such as...

- There are 10 types of people in this world,
- Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

 

Ken Krug

1 Year Ago

That joke’s a “10”!

 

Sandi OReilly

1 Year Ago

Why don't they play poker in the jungle??

There are too many cheetahs.

 

Jim Taylor

1 Year Ago

Richard, please brush your horses teeth.
I have a toilet brush I can loan you.

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Ed Meredith

1 Year Ago

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9 Days Ago

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Becky Titus

9 Days Ago

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Richard Reeve

9 Days Ago

Sorry for the lack of responses. I have not visited this for a few days. This was not an image thread originally as it was for "groaners" and one liners.

Also I don't want it to just be another image dump. I wanted it to be a place to come when I (and anyone else?) was feeling glum and just get a quick pick-me-up from a great one-liner.

To that end, thus has been a real tonic - so THANK YOU to everyone.

To specific questions: I started with an image because the site etiquette is to include an image in the first post.

If someone else wants to open a discussion with "funny images" and if Abbie approves of it, then please go for it!

Best wishes, Richard

Keep 'em coming.

 

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